Trials

Everyone has trials in their life.  We all have a purpose, sometimes we don't know what God has in store for us, but we have to keep living and obeying God's will until he reveals it to us.

This post actually started 5 years ago when my granddaughter was born.  My step-daughter didn't want a baby, but got pregnant and searched for someone within the family who wanted to adopt her baby.  Then she would know that the baby was well taken care of and still able to see this child grow up.  During her pregnancy, the baby's father left her and it was that moment that my step-daughter decided she wanted to "try & see if I can do it."

Right after our granddaughter was born in 2009, my step-daughter told us that she was a miracle and she didn't know why she ever wanted to give her up for adoption.  That was a happy moment.  My step-daughter lived with her mother and step-father during this time.  We talked to her on the phone often, and we were only allowed to see the baby if we drove the 45 minutes to where they lived, and she always needed something for the baby.  Clothes, diapers, etc. and of course we wanted our granddaughter to be taken care of, so we would buy things that she needed and take them to her.  Amazingly enough, if we didn't have any money to buy diapers or clothes, my step-daughter would have an excuse as to why we couldn't come visit our granddaughter.  Then something happened between my step-daughter and her mother, and she and our granddaughter came to live with us.  This happened just before our granddaughter's first birthday, which was in March.  In July 2010, my step-daughter and granddaughter moved out of our house and back in with her mother.  My step daughter wouldn't speak to us on the phone, and we were not allowed to see our step-daughter until just before Christmas.  In October 2010, we were at Bass Pro shop doing our Cub Scout duties selling popcorn, and ran into my husband's ex-wife, her husband number 4, and they had our granddaughter with them.  She didn't know who we were.  We held her for a minute and kissed her, my husband asked his ex-wife why their daughter was depriving us from seeing our granddaughter and she told him she wasn't getting into it, and that he would have to take it up with their daughter.  Just after Thanksgiving 2010, my step-daughter called my husband and invited us to come visit our granddaughter.  She was using us for what she could get for Christmas.  My step-daughter and granddaughter came and spent the night with us Christmas eve, and had Christmas with us that year.  Then we were back on the visits only when we would make the 45 minute drive, and bring diapers or other things she needed for our granddaughter.  It was obvious to us that we were being used.  My step-daughter doesn't like to work, so she uses people for whatever support she can get from them, be it monetary, gifts, housing, or anything else.

In March 2011, husband number 5 died, and my husband's ex-wife decided she didn't want her daughter living with her anymore, so she came back to live with us on April 1, 2011.  Right away it was apparent to us that my step-daughter did not take care of our granddaughter.  If anyone else was in the house to care for her, that's who cared for her.  If anyone left the house, our granddaughter would go with them, and my step-daughter would stay home.  She only worked part time, 2 overnight shifts a week at a hotel in a neighboring town.  She would sleep all day, while my husband took care of our granddaughter, and she would stay up all night talking to people on video chat on her computer.  Never would she get up during the day and get her daughter anything to eat, or drink, or change a diaper, or give her a bath.  I began documenting the neglect on May 1, 2011, and I still continue to document today.  They lived with us 9 months that time, and I think that was the most stressful 9 months of my entire life.  My step-daughter and I fought constantly.  I tried showing her how to care for her daughter, only to be ignored.  I tried teaching her things, only to be ignored.  I asked nicely, and was ignored.  I asked not so nicely and was still ignored.  She didn't clean up after herself, or her daughter.  She continued to sleep all day while others cared for her daughter and stay up all night.  There was trash all over our living room, where she slept on the hide-a-bed.  It was a mess.

In December 2011, she got mad at us and moved back in with her mother the beginning of January 2012. When she finally moved out, we were cleaning her room and found wet diapers stuffed in the couch cushions, food wrappers stuffed in the couch cushions and under the couch, food in the couch cushions and under the couch.  The trash can my husband gave her a few months before was overflowing with food wrappers, and there was a pile of dirty dishes sitting on a shelf.  During the cleaning process, we also noticed that there were roaches in her room.  It took us 2 weeks to completely eradicate the infestation.

After my step-daughter moved out of our house we were not allowed to see our granddaughter until one time in August, just before she moved to Iowa to be engaged to a registered sex offender who was freshly out of prison for his offense.  She lived with the sex offender's family for a year, while he continued to be in and out of prison for parole violations.  In 19 months, we saw our granddaughter one time, for one hour.  We were not allowed to speak to her on the phone, we didn't know where she had moved to.  My step-daughter would call us a total of 3 times during that time frame, and her phone number would be disconnected and changed within 24 hours of hanging up with us.  She shaved our granddaughters head into a "buzz" cut, and dyed her cornsilk blonde hair a dark auburn.

During this time, we began legal proceedings, along with our granddaughter's father to try and bring her back to our state, and get her away from the sex offender her mother was engaged to.  It took 19 months for that to happen.  At the end of August 2013, a judge awarded us emergency temporary custody of our granddaughter, and appointed a guardian ad litem to begin an investigation on the well being of our granddaughter. When my step-daughter moved back from Iowa the following week, we were there with police to take our granddaughter away from her neglectful mother.

Two weeks later, the GAL came to our house and met us and our granddaughter.  She visited with her for nearly one hour, then talked with us for another hour about our allegations against my step-daughter, and pretty much wanted to know anything we knew.  We spilled the beans about everything, including pictures and documentation, receipts from all of the clothes that we had to buy our granddaughter because her mother refused to, pictures of the neglect.  The snotty noses that went un-wiped, the severe eczema that was not treated, her skin and hair after not having a bath for 9 days straight during a time I was trying to FORCE my step-daughter to be a mother, among other things.  There were the text and facebook messages between my husband and his daughter, where he asked her weekly if we could have a visit with our granddaughter, and she was telling us "no, you will never see her again."  My step-daughter uses her daughter to manipulate men, to manipulate family members, friends, who ever she can to get whatever she can from them.

Do you know anyone like that?  What do you do about it?