So when we went to court earlier this month, the Guardian Ad Litem basically dismissed anything we had to say about my step-daughter's behavior, the fact that nothing has changed as far as how she neglects our granddaughter, etc. One of the other things she told us is that "If she needs anything for the kids and you have it, you should think about what's best for the kids and GIVE her what she needs for them." Ok WHAT?!? You're telling me that you're ok with my step-daughter sitting around begging and expecting everyone else to give her everything she needs to care for her kids while she does nothing but collect child support, and government assistance on them?
Here's where I'm torn. I KNOW my step-daughter is not likely to change. She's made that very clear to us long ago. We WANT to take care of our grandchildren. They deserve better than their mother is ever going to give them. They deserve someone who wants to take care of them, and sacrifices for them, and lets them know that they are loved and worth loving and providing for. By providing for our grandchildren, we are enabling my step-daughter to continue to be a poor excuse for a parent. We are allowing, encouraging her even to be lazy and expect hand out's from everyone, while she collects welfare. Don't get me wrong, welfare is a great program for someone who NEEDS it, not for the lazy. But that isn't what this post is about. This post is about me not knowing rather I should help provide necessities for our grandchildren, or not.
What would you do?
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Sunday, December 28, 2014
Trials
Everyone has trials in their life. We all have a purpose, sometimes we don't know what God has in store for us, but we have to keep living and obeying God's will until he reveals it to us.
This post actually started 5 years ago when my granddaughter was born. My step-daughter didn't want a baby, but got pregnant and searched for someone within the family who wanted to adopt her baby. Then she would know that the baby was well taken care of and still able to see this child grow up. During her pregnancy, the baby's father left her and it was that moment that my step-daughter decided she wanted to "try & see if I can do it."
Right after our granddaughter was born in 2009, my step-daughter told us that she was a miracle and she didn't know why she ever wanted to give her up for adoption. That was a happy moment. My step-daughter lived with her mother and step-father during this time. We talked to her on the phone often, and we were only allowed to see the baby if we drove the 45 minutes to where they lived, and she always needed something for the baby. Clothes, diapers, etc. and of course we wanted our granddaughter to be taken care of, so we would buy things that she needed and take them to her. Amazingly enough, if we didn't have any money to buy diapers or clothes, my step-daughter would have an excuse as to why we couldn't come visit our granddaughter. Then something happened between my step-daughter and her mother, and she and our granddaughter came to live with us. This happened just before our granddaughter's first birthday, which was in March. In July 2010, my step-daughter and granddaughter moved out of our house and back in with her mother. My step daughter wouldn't speak to us on the phone, and we were not allowed to see our step-daughter until just before Christmas. In October 2010, we were at Bass Pro shop doing our Cub Scout duties selling popcorn, and ran into my husband's ex-wife, her husband number 4, and they had our granddaughter with them. She didn't know who we were. We held her for a minute and kissed her, my husband asked his ex-wife why their daughter was depriving us from seeing our granddaughter and she told him she wasn't getting into it, and that he would have to take it up with their daughter. Just after Thanksgiving 2010, my step-daughter called my husband and invited us to come visit our granddaughter. She was using us for what she could get for Christmas. My step-daughter and granddaughter came and spent the night with us Christmas eve, and had Christmas with us that year. Then we were back on the visits only when we would make the 45 minute drive, and bring diapers or other things she needed for our granddaughter. It was obvious to us that we were being used. My step-daughter doesn't like to work, so she uses people for whatever support she can get from them, be it monetary, gifts, housing, or anything else.
In March 2011, husband number 5 died, and my husband's ex-wife decided she didn't want her daughter living with her anymore, so she came back to live with us on April 1, 2011. Right away it was apparent to us that my step-daughter did not take care of our granddaughter. If anyone else was in the house to care for her, that's who cared for her. If anyone left the house, our granddaughter would go with them, and my step-daughter would stay home. She only worked part time, 2 overnight shifts a week at a hotel in a neighboring town. She would sleep all day, while my husband took care of our granddaughter, and she would stay up all night talking to people on video chat on her computer. Never would she get up during the day and get her daughter anything to eat, or drink, or change a diaper, or give her a bath. I began documenting the neglect on May 1, 2011, and I still continue to document today. They lived with us 9 months that time, and I think that was the most stressful 9 months of my entire life. My step-daughter and I fought constantly. I tried showing her how to care for her daughter, only to be ignored. I tried teaching her things, only to be ignored. I asked nicely, and was ignored. I asked not so nicely and was still ignored. She didn't clean up after herself, or her daughter. She continued to sleep all day while others cared for her daughter and stay up all night. There was trash all over our living room, where she slept on the hide-a-bed. It was a mess.
In December 2011, she got mad at us and moved back in with her mother the beginning of January 2012. When she finally moved out, we were cleaning her room and found wet diapers stuffed in the couch cushions, food wrappers stuffed in the couch cushions and under the couch, food in the couch cushions and under the couch. The trash can my husband gave her a few months before was overflowing with food wrappers, and there was a pile of dirty dishes sitting on a shelf. During the cleaning process, we also noticed that there were roaches in her room. It took us 2 weeks to completely eradicate the infestation.
After my step-daughter moved out of our house we were not allowed to see our granddaughter until one time in August, just before she moved to Iowa to be engaged to a registered sex offender who was freshly out of prison for his offense. She lived with the sex offender's family for a year, while he continued to be in and out of prison for parole violations. In 19 months, we saw our granddaughter one time, for one hour. We were not allowed to speak to her on the phone, we didn't know where she had moved to. My step-daughter would call us a total of 3 times during that time frame, and her phone number would be disconnected and changed within 24 hours of hanging up with us. She shaved our granddaughters head into a "buzz" cut, and dyed her cornsilk blonde hair a dark auburn.
During this time, we began legal proceedings, along with our granddaughter's father to try and bring her back to our state, and get her away from the sex offender her mother was engaged to. It took 19 months for that to happen. At the end of August 2013, a judge awarded us emergency temporary custody of our granddaughter, and appointed a guardian ad litem to begin an investigation on the well being of our granddaughter. When my step-daughter moved back from Iowa the following week, we were there with police to take our granddaughter away from her neglectful mother.
Two weeks later, the GAL came to our house and met us and our granddaughter. She visited with her for nearly one hour, then talked with us for another hour about our allegations against my step-daughter, and pretty much wanted to know anything we knew. We spilled the beans about everything, including pictures and documentation, receipts from all of the clothes that we had to buy our granddaughter because her mother refused to, pictures of the neglect. The snotty noses that went un-wiped, the severe eczema that was not treated, her skin and hair after not having a bath for 9 days straight during a time I was trying to FORCE my step-daughter to be a mother, among other things. There were the text and facebook messages between my husband and his daughter, where he asked her weekly if we could have a visit with our granddaughter, and she was telling us "no, you will never see her again." My step-daughter uses her daughter to manipulate men, to manipulate family members, friends, who ever she can to get whatever she can from them.
Do you know anyone like that? What do you do about it?
This post actually started 5 years ago when my granddaughter was born. My step-daughter didn't want a baby, but got pregnant and searched for someone within the family who wanted to adopt her baby. Then she would know that the baby was well taken care of and still able to see this child grow up. During her pregnancy, the baby's father left her and it was that moment that my step-daughter decided she wanted to "try & see if I can do it."
Right after our granddaughter was born in 2009, my step-daughter told us that she was a miracle and she didn't know why she ever wanted to give her up for adoption. That was a happy moment. My step-daughter lived with her mother and step-father during this time. We talked to her on the phone often, and we were only allowed to see the baby if we drove the 45 minutes to where they lived, and she always needed something for the baby. Clothes, diapers, etc. and of course we wanted our granddaughter to be taken care of, so we would buy things that she needed and take them to her. Amazingly enough, if we didn't have any money to buy diapers or clothes, my step-daughter would have an excuse as to why we couldn't come visit our granddaughter. Then something happened between my step-daughter and her mother, and she and our granddaughter came to live with us. This happened just before our granddaughter's first birthday, which was in March. In July 2010, my step-daughter and granddaughter moved out of our house and back in with her mother. My step daughter wouldn't speak to us on the phone, and we were not allowed to see our step-daughter until just before Christmas. In October 2010, we were at Bass Pro shop doing our Cub Scout duties selling popcorn, and ran into my husband's ex-wife, her husband number 4, and they had our granddaughter with them. She didn't know who we were. We held her for a minute and kissed her, my husband asked his ex-wife why their daughter was depriving us from seeing our granddaughter and she told him she wasn't getting into it, and that he would have to take it up with their daughter. Just after Thanksgiving 2010, my step-daughter called my husband and invited us to come visit our granddaughter. She was using us for what she could get for Christmas. My step-daughter and granddaughter came and spent the night with us Christmas eve, and had Christmas with us that year. Then we were back on the visits only when we would make the 45 minute drive, and bring diapers or other things she needed for our granddaughter. It was obvious to us that we were being used. My step-daughter doesn't like to work, so she uses people for whatever support she can get from them, be it monetary, gifts, housing, or anything else.
In March 2011, husband number 5 died, and my husband's ex-wife decided she didn't want her daughter living with her anymore, so she came back to live with us on April 1, 2011. Right away it was apparent to us that my step-daughter did not take care of our granddaughter. If anyone else was in the house to care for her, that's who cared for her. If anyone left the house, our granddaughter would go with them, and my step-daughter would stay home. She only worked part time, 2 overnight shifts a week at a hotel in a neighboring town. She would sleep all day, while my husband took care of our granddaughter, and she would stay up all night talking to people on video chat on her computer. Never would she get up during the day and get her daughter anything to eat, or drink, or change a diaper, or give her a bath. I began documenting the neglect on May 1, 2011, and I still continue to document today. They lived with us 9 months that time, and I think that was the most stressful 9 months of my entire life. My step-daughter and I fought constantly. I tried showing her how to care for her daughter, only to be ignored. I tried teaching her things, only to be ignored. I asked nicely, and was ignored. I asked not so nicely and was still ignored. She didn't clean up after herself, or her daughter. She continued to sleep all day while others cared for her daughter and stay up all night. There was trash all over our living room, where she slept on the hide-a-bed. It was a mess.
In December 2011, she got mad at us and moved back in with her mother the beginning of January 2012. When she finally moved out, we were cleaning her room and found wet diapers stuffed in the couch cushions, food wrappers stuffed in the couch cushions and under the couch, food in the couch cushions and under the couch. The trash can my husband gave her a few months before was overflowing with food wrappers, and there was a pile of dirty dishes sitting on a shelf. During the cleaning process, we also noticed that there were roaches in her room. It took us 2 weeks to completely eradicate the infestation.
After my step-daughter moved out of our house we were not allowed to see our granddaughter until one time in August, just before she moved to Iowa to be engaged to a registered sex offender who was freshly out of prison for his offense. She lived with the sex offender's family for a year, while he continued to be in and out of prison for parole violations. In 19 months, we saw our granddaughter one time, for one hour. We were not allowed to speak to her on the phone, we didn't know where she had moved to. My step-daughter would call us a total of 3 times during that time frame, and her phone number would be disconnected and changed within 24 hours of hanging up with us. She shaved our granddaughters head into a "buzz" cut, and dyed her cornsilk blonde hair a dark auburn.
During this time, we began legal proceedings, along with our granddaughter's father to try and bring her back to our state, and get her away from the sex offender her mother was engaged to. It took 19 months for that to happen. At the end of August 2013, a judge awarded us emergency temporary custody of our granddaughter, and appointed a guardian ad litem to begin an investigation on the well being of our granddaughter. When my step-daughter moved back from Iowa the following week, we were there with police to take our granddaughter away from her neglectful mother.
Two weeks later, the GAL came to our house and met us and our granddaughter. She visited with her for nearly one hour, then talked with us for another hour about our allegations against my step-daughter, and pretty much wanted to know anything we knew. We spilled the beans about everything, including pictures and documentation, receipts from all of the clothes that we had to buy our granddaughter because her mother refused to, pictures of the neglect. The snotty noses that went un-wiped, the severe eczema that was not treated, her skin and hair after not having a bath for 9 days straight during a time I was trying to FORCE my step-daughter to be a mother, among other things. There were the text and facebook messages between my husband and his daughter, where he asked her weekly if we could have a visit with our granddaughter, and she was telling us "no, you will never see her again." My step-daughter uses her daughter to manipulate men, to manipulate family members, friends, who ever she can to get whatever she can from them.
Do you know anyone like that? What do you do about it?
Saturday, December 27, 2014
One Year Seizure Free
Yesterday was the day. Our son has finally been seizure free for a full year. The last seizure he had was Christmas day 2013, at the dinner table. He forgot to take his anti-seizure meds that morning, and by that evening, he had a petit mal seizure sitting at the dinner table. If my sister hadn't been sitting right across from him and seen it happen, none of us would have probably ever known. We went to Wal-Mart the following week on payday and bought him a dual alarm clock We set it for 10:00 am, and 10:00 pm, that's when he takes his medicine every single day. He has only forgotten to take it twice in the last year, but there is a corrective action we can take to keep his levels from dropping, therefore preventing him from having anymore seizures.
I remember the first time we noticed something was wrong. It was the beginning of September 2013, Michael was at a cub scout meeting. During the opening flag ceremony, he was standing at attention and fell. Like a tree, hit his head on a table on the way down. Our cub master who happens to be a paramedic instructed me to take him to the ER to be checked out. They didn't find anything wrong with him, and referred us to his pediatrician. We went to the pediatrician the following day and he thought maybe Michael was growing too fast and he needed more sodium since he was active in sports.
A few days later, Michael was in the shower and we heard him fall down. Jeff ran into the bathroom to find Michael lying on the floor of the bathtub, disoriented. He told Jeff he "passed out" again. We gave him the shower chair to sit on while he finished his shower and Jeff stayed with him. A few hours later, as he was sitting at the computer doing his school work I noticed a blank stare on Michael's face. I tried talking to him, and there was no response. His eyes were open...lights were on, but nobody was home. I called my mom who suggested I take him back to the ER. They checked him over again and once again couldn't find any reason for these "episodes" (not yet diagnosed as seizures, although we suspected that's what was going on). We saw his pediatrician again, who wanted him to be seen by a pediatric cardiologist and neurologist. Because of a snag with his insurance neither of those specialists would see him. Michael continued having multiple seizures a day, accompanied by headaches until the end of October. That's when I got a call at work from my husband telling me that Michael had multiple seizures that morning and was having chest pains. I left work right away and we took him to the ER once again. We sat in the waiting room for 4 hours, where Michael would have another 3 seizures during that time. When he was finally taken in a room to be seen, we got a doctor who wanted to admit him and get this figured out, insurance issues be damned.
So that's what happened. October 30, 2013...the day before Halloween, Michael was admitted into the hospital. He would have blood work, a heart monitor, EEG, Echo, MRI, all which came back PERFECTLY NORMAL!! And he was seen by a pediatric neurologist, who diagnosed him with epilepsy after hearing what we had to say about his symptoms and behaviors. Michael was started on medication and released to go home Halloween night.
By the next day, Michael's new medicine had his head all messed up. He hadn't had anymore seizures, but he was having such bad anxiety, he couldn't even function enough to do his chores, or school work. Since it was the weekend, we had to wait until Monday to call the neurologist's office back. Turns out they didn't taper up the dose like they were supposed to after the loading dose. So we were told to half what he was taking for a couple of days and then we would taper it back up. The following day, not only did he still have the bad anxiety and not able to function, he began having seizures again!! The entire month of November was full of medicine changes, tapering up on a new medicine, and tapering down off of the first one. Lots of seizures and anxiety, and no sleep. Jeff and I were sleeping in shifts so Michael would have eyes on him at all times. The last seizure Michael had was the day after Thanksgiving, and he was off the medicine that wasn't working. Until Christmas day when he forgot to take his morning dose and had a seizure that night. It's been a long year, but now we're doing pretty good.
Here's to being seizure free for an entire year!!
I remember the first time we noticed something was wrong. It was the beginning of September 2013, Michael was at a cub scout meeting. During the opening flag ceremony, he was standing at attention and fell. Like a tree, hit his head on a table on the way down. Our cub master who happens to be a paramedic instructed me to take him to the ER to be checked out. They didn't find anything wrong with him, and referred us to his pediatrician. We went to the pediatrician the following day and he thought maybe Michael was growing too fast and he needed more sodium since he was active in sports.
A few days later, Michael was in the shower and we heard him fall down. Jeff ran into the bathroom to find Michael lying on the floor of the bathtub, disoriented. He told Jeff he "passed out" again. We gave him the shower chair to sit on while he finished his shower and Jeff stayed with him. A few hours later, as he was sitting at the computer doing his school work I noticed a blank stare on Michael's face. I tried talking to him, and there was no response. His eyes were open...lights were on, but nobody was home. I called my mom who suggested I take him back to the ER. They checked him over again and once again couldn't find any reason for these "episodes" (not yet diagnosed as seizures, although we suspected that's what was going on). We saw his pediatrician again, who wanted him to be seen by a pediatric cardiologist and neurologist. Because of a snag with his insurance neither of those specialists would see him. Michael continued having multiple seizures a day, accompanied by headaches until the end of October. That's when I got a call at work from my husband telling me that Michael had multiple seizures that morning and was having chest pains. I left work right away and we took him to the ER once again. We sat in the waiting room for 4 hours, where Michael would have another 3 seizures during that time. When he was finally taken in a room to be seen, we got a doctor who wanted to admit him and get this figured out, insurance issues be damned.
So that's what happened. October 30, 2013...the day before Halloween, Michael was admitted into the hospital. He would have blood work, a heart monitor, EEG, Echo, MRI, all which came back PERFECTLY NORMAL!! And he was seen by a pediatric neurologist, who diagnosed him with epilepsy after hearing what we had to say about his symptoms and behaviors. Michael was started on medication and released to go home Halloween night.
By the next day, Michael's new medicine had his head all messed up. He hadn't had anymore seizures, but he was having such bad anxiety, he couldn't even function enough to do his chores, or school work. Since it was the weekend, we had to wait until Monday to call the neurologist's office back. Turns out they didn't taper up the dose like they were supposed to after the loading dose. So we were told to half what he was taking for a couple of days and then we would taper it back up. The following day, not only did he still have the bad anxiety and not able to function, he began having seizures again!! The entire month of November was full of medicine changes, tapering up on a new medicine, and tapering down off of the first one. Lots of seizures and anxiety, and no sleep. Jeff and I were sleeping in shifts so Michael would have eyes on him at all times. The last seizure Michael had was the day after Thanksgiving, and he was off the medicine that wasn't working. Until Christmas day when he forgot to take his morning dose and had a seizure that night. It's been a long year, but now we're doing pretty good.
Here's to being seizure free for an entire year!!
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